The 1% and the 99%.

In this adventure-packed post, Mike explains about the 1% and the other 99%.

Mike: Hi
Megan: hello
Megan: how're you?
Megan: hahahaha, i've got a funny story for you!
Mike: oh good
Mike: i need one
Megan: more fodder for our "mike tells megan how not to date" blog
Mike: shoot
Mike: ha
Mike: yes!
Mike: am i not going to like this?
Megan: okay, so sunday night i was waiting at columbus circle for a D train to go home
Megan: i'd been to church with my friend, and had dinner, and was tired and ready to be home
Megan: but no less than FIVE A trains went by, and no D train
Megan: so people on the platform started kinda laughing and cracking jokes about it
Mike: shared human experience
Megan: so one of the guys who'd said some remark to me about the train got on the D train that finally dragged itself into the station
Mike: causes unlikely interaction
Megan: and sat next to me
Megan: and proceeded to chat with me the whole trip home
Megan: (not that long, but still, complete invasion of personal bubble)
Mike: so it was unwelcome?
Megan: i mentioned that i was coming from church, hoping that it would throw him off
Mike: haha
Megan: i mean, he wasn't freaky or scary, just strange that you'd talk to someone on the train
Mike: you should have offered him some kool aid after that
Megan: it really is a personal bubble system
Megan: hahaha
Megan: but no, that did not deter him
Megan: he proceeded to walk a few blocks with me outside of the train, until we were at his block, at which point he asked me to get a drink
Mike: persistant
Mike: ent
Mike: ant
Megan: i was so taken aback i just kind of handed him a business card and ran away, checking behind me to be sure he didn't follow me
Megan: scary
Megan: and now he's emailed
Mike: haha
Mike: meg
Mike: rule #1 of shady guys
Megan: i've decided to tell him that god doesn't want me dating right now
Megan: :)
Mike: i thought we covered this
Megan: i know, but what was i to say?
Mike: tell them ANYTHING but how to find you again
Mike: you got it backwards
Mike: because you ONLY told him where to find you again
Megan: i felt physically intimidated, it was the only thing i could do to distract him while i ran away
Mike: well jeez
Megan: like throwing a bone to a dog then getting out of the yard
Mike: vistaprint.com
Megan: hahahaha
Mike: they'll send you 250 free biz cards
Megan: see, seriously
Mike: make fake ones
Mike: a friend of mine did
Megan: really?
Megan: wow
Megan: maybe i should
Mike: "super stealthy psycho ninja death squad"
Mike: not relevent
Mike: but it shows that they're really free
Megan: the cards?
Megan: really?
Mike: yeah
Megan: vistaprint.com
Megan: hmm
Mike: you can be anyone
Mike: itll be fun
Megan: hahaha, i can totally make up a phone number
Megan: ooooh, i'll find out the reject number and put that on!!!
Megan: YES!
Megan: this is BRILLIANT!
Megan: mike, you are a brilliant man
Megan: so as for this email which is now sitting in my inbox
Mike: (Link: http://www.rejectionhotline.com/)http://www.rejectionhotline.com/
Megan: let's see if anything in it is funny
Mike: ha! you beat me to it
Mike: i was googling while you were saying that
Megan: "You're right about your business card. Very unique indeed. Flipped it over half-expecting to find shoe size, favorite movie and greatest high school accomplishment."
Megan: well, he does have the crazy annoying business card pegged
Megan: haha
Megan: i am totally making these business cards today
Mike: hehe
Mike: glad i could help
Megan: it is ridiculously difficult to get the number from this web site
Megan: sheesh
Megan: hmm, anything else of interest in the email . . .?
Mike: wait
Megan: "I'm off to California on Wednesday, but would love to get together for a drink or a bite to eat when I get back. Know you were a little hesitant, but I can assure you that it'll be low-key and that I clean up pretty well (won't subject you to yellow sneakers or paint covered shorts)."
Mike: youre a little bit all over the place today
Mike: which web site
Mike: vista or the rejection
Mike: because the rejection had a number on the homepage
Mike: haha
Mike: lets analyze this
Megan: the rejection
Megan: i have to find one with the proper area code!
Megan: it's cool, i've got the 212
Megan: okay, analyze away . . .
Mike: "ive got a life and dont need you, but i want your shit and soon. I know I'm creep, but I'll try not to be at first."
Megan: hahahahahaha
Megan: that's totally going on the blog
Mike: btw
Mike: odds are that wasnt paint
Megan: EW!
Megan: you're so gross!
Mike: um
Mike: i was going to suggest stains from being homeless
Megan: oh
Megan: haha
Mike: who is gross now
Megan: me! :)
Megan: any more analysis?
Mike: no i think you handled yourself well
Mike: but the fact is
Megan: he's a creep?
Mike: any guy will look for any excuse to talk to an attractive girl
Megan: who speaks to strangers on the subway?
Mike: so whenever there is a shared human experience, watch out
Megan: so maybe he's just a normal guy and not a creep?
Megan: lol
Megan: what should my last name be on my "business cards"?
Mike: no he's probably a creep
Mike: or worse
Mike: an artist
Megan: LOL!
Megan: he said he works in finance
Megan: but he works for himself
Megan: so he's an unemployed artist who sits at home all day
Megan: that would make sense for the paint
Mike: which means he cleans the urinals at fidelity
Megan: hahaha
Megan: EWWW!
Megan: who's gross now?
Mike: someones gotta do it
Megan: yuck
Megan: it's sad, true, but still sad
. . .
Megan: lol
Megan: i totally made up a company, changed my last name, made up an address and email addy, and put on the rejection hotline #
Megan: woohooo!
Mike: lol
Mike: you need to show me the pdf
Megan: how do i get a pdf?
Megan: do they send it to me?
Mike: oh
Mike: no
Mike: sorry
Mike: mine was custom art
Mike: im assuming youre doing a template
Megan: ooooooooh
Megan: yes
Megan: free business cards, remember?
Mike: right :-[
Megan: i mean, i guess it's worth a little money to get off so easy blowing creepy men off
Megan: hmm
Megan: lol, "Please select your primary use"
Megan: personal, business, or realtor
Megan: i chose personal
Mike: i'd say thats accurate
Mike: wow
Mike: these guys are really going to feel like shit
Mike: thats awesome
Megan: now you're making me feel bad
Megan: and i won't be able to actually give it to anyone
Megan: awwwww
Megan: damn, still have to pay for shipping
Mike: its cheap tho
Megan: maybe i should save my money and just learn how to say no
Mike: haha
Mike: nah
Mike: easier to adapt to the way you are than change
Megan: i don't think i could actually give this card to anyone
Megan: LOL
Mike: you know how you react in those situations now
Mike: hey
Megan: what?
Mike: when youve got curious george hanging on you on the D train and youve got both cards in your wallet....you'll give out the fake one.
Megan: haha
Megan: damn, the free ones have "vista print" advertising on them
Megan: they won't look terribly official
Mike: haha
Mike: say you work for vistaprint
Mike: then it'll look EXTRA official
Megan: but i work for The Chrysalis Group
Mike: nice
Megan: and my email address is Megan.(lastname)@TCG.com
Megan: oh yeah, TCG
Megan: i'm cool
Mike: haha
Mike: i like who YOU wont even give ME youre FAKE last name.
Mike: nice.
Mike: thanks.
Mike: how
Mike: dmanit
Mike: damnit
Mike: your
Mike: arg!
Mike: im a mess
Megan: LOL
Megan: are you having a seizure?
Mike: lol
Mike: my cube mate looked at me during that lol
Mike: so you know its genuine
Megan: well, i'm seriously thinking of posting our convo's as a blog, and i dont' want the whole world able to read my fake name!
Megan: hahahaha
Megan: GOL
Megan: ok, so i googled train-boy's company that his email came from
Megan: it's a sad sad website
Mike: ooohh let me see!
Megan: and there's a directory, but he's not on it
Mike: haha
Megan: (Link)
Megan: it is an UGLY web site
Mike: does his card say "vistaprint"
Megan: lol
Mike: he might be using it for the opposite- to play himself up
Mike: ew
Megan: oh, and their address is different, so maybe that's not really what he works for!
Megan: hmmmmm
Megan: I THINK YOU"RE RIGHT!
Megan: he thinks this will make it look like he does really work in finance, unless someone realizes that his email address is off
Megan: it's "@blahblahblahcap.com" instead of "@blahblahblahcapital.com"
Megan: CREEPY!
Mike: of course im right
Mike: i should write a book about creepy guys
Megan: GOL
Mike: because i really understand them
Megan: how exactly did you get this deep understanding?
Mike: im aware of the inner psyche
Mike: and the worst of men
Megan: mhhmmm
Mike: its all guys
Mike: not just creepy
Mike: i'd say 1% of guys are well adjusted
Megan: so i'm doomed
Megan: haha, you were getting great pics while i was getting picked up by a creep!
Mike: the other 99% fall above the mark or below
Mike: above the mark give you assholes
Mike: below give you creeps
Mike: or emotional insecurities
Megan: oh goody
Megan: that's it, boyboycott in full effect
Mike: what time did this take place on sun?
Megan: about 9:30
Megan: pm
Mike: hmm
Megan: i really am at a loss, it doesn't make any sense, his email address . . .
Mike: ugh

At this point Mike's disgust with my lack of following his direction overwhelms him and the topic is changed. Thanks again, Mike!